“Been there, done that.” When will I ever say that phrase about book signings? Never? When I'll be 25? 27? (Wait a sec. I'll just wipe the stupid tear out of my eye). I hope not. (teary) I hope it'll be soon. Very soon.
It has always been a reader's dream to meet the authors of their favorite books. For us, it's like meeting your hollywood idols or hollywood celebrity crushes. For us, it's even more than meeting the president of the country. Because who wouldn't want to meet the person who introduced them to another world? Who wouldn't want to meet the person who gave them the possibilty to dream about a perfect fictional character? Who wouldn't want to meet the person who had shared to them a piece of their minds and lives? Who wouldn't.
It's really hard for me not to be jealous of those kids who have met authors in their really young age. They've met John Green, Rainbow Rowell, Suzanne Collins, Veronica Roth, Rick Riordan as easy as eating chocolate. They've talked to them, hugged them and let them sign their books. Why is it that they meet authors every single time but not me. (Not even once) Whoever said that life is fair, you're a fool. Life's never fair. Life do that, it'll be very unfair to us even if we do all things right. If life was fair, I could've met Suzanne Ee, Wendy Higgins, Anna Banks, and Rainbow Rowell. But it is not so I'm sad. (And I may or may not be crying right now)
Sometimes I ask myself, Why do I have to live in Narnia (of my country)? I live far North of the Capital of the country. And I was not blessed with a family that have enough money to send me off to any place I want to go, if necessary much less anytime I want to. But there are just the others who could go to anywhere they want at anytime they want as easy as that. Of course I cannot blame them for it. I cannot blame anyone. I cannot blame anything. It is what it is. So no matter how hurtful it is for me, I must accept it.
So this Saturday, there'll be a book signing that will be held sponsored the biggest bookstore of the country. I've planned for it for how many months. I've even readied my speeches to the authors. I've readied my feelings. BUT (oh how I hate the word 'but' sometimes) in the last minute, I CAN'T GO I cant go I cant go I cant go I want to go I cant go (sniffs) I've saved enough money to go but I have no one to go with I don't know how to go alone by myself. (I'm not dauntless enough It is so hard (so very hard) to have a family who doesn't understand. They don't understand a thing about books, they don't understand my relationship with books, they just can't understand a thing.
Why is it so wrong to do what makes me happy? Is it wrong to meet other people who understands me? Is it wrong to feel that I belong somewhere sometimes? Everything I do about books is wrong in their sight. And it's very hard for me. Lucky for those people who'se parents understand. Lucky for those kids who'se parents buy them books. Lucky are the kids whose parents are readers (so very lucky) I envy you. It's a hard thing you know, to set aside some (sometimes all) of my money just to buy books. So be grateful those of you that are not like me-like us.
So being a reader is really a tough struggle, the struggle is real yet I keep on fighting until the day comes where I'll own it, til the day comes where I'll meet authors anytime I want to, til the day comes when I can buy all the books I want to buy, til the day comes I get all my books signed.
The day will come when I will have my own bookstore which will sell only books and fandom merch and movie merch and books released in the right time and the right date and a lot of authors for booksignings! Mark my word!